Once again, busy
- Theresa Crawford
- May 13
- 7 min read
It’s pretty common that we missionaries will end a Community Meeting, where we plan for the upcoming weeks, saying something about how we just got through a “busy time”, or the upcoming month will be a “busy time”. After 7 months of saying that, I’ve learned that a Finca life is synonymous with a busy life.
This past month was certainly no exception. We started the month with Rachel’s parents visiting, then my parents visiting, then Semana Santa and Pascua, then missionaries from Comayagua visiting to give a camp for the kids(that was actually the first week of May). Mixed in there was the normal busyness of teaching classes, big rule changes in the Finca, kids leaving to live with their family, and new residents arriving in the Finca. Also, the election of a new Pope! Truly a whirlwind of a month, but that’s nothing new =)
Parents in the Finca
As a new missionary, I wasn’t allowed to have visitors to the Finca for the first 6 months of my time here. My parents came to visit as soon as that period was up. I actually had the super fun opportunity to surprise my dad in Roatan! Rachel and her family took a weeklong vacation there that overlapped with my parent’s arrival to Honduras in Roatan. To make traveling easier, they were going to spend a night with the Ring family, then take the ferry the next morning to La Ceiba, where I would meet them and we’d taxi back to the Finca together. Instead, my mom and I planned for me to arrive in Roatan earlier the day my parents arrive and already be at the Ring’s hotel when my parents showed up! It was so fun and heartwarming! There may or may not have been a few tears shed from all three Crawfords.
Sharing the mission with my family was so fun and beautiful, but to be completely honest, it was also pretty stressful. Right before my parents arrived, new rules were passed down from Equipo Clinico that seriously limited what we, as missionaries, were able to do with kids. Essentially, we were no longer able to pull the kids away from Tia to go play or do an activity without Tia needing to come along. The Equipo Clinico no longer trusted the missionaries to care for the kids without the Tias present. This made being present with the kids while also providing Tia an opportunity to rest much harder. In addition to the rules, school was canceled because of rain for the two days that my parents were going to come teach with me. Teaching is a large part of my day and my job here; with not being able to play with the kids either, I felt like I was struggling to show my parents the best of the mission. In addition, I was struggling emotionally myself to deal with the new rules. With the new rules, I felt like I was re-realizing everything in the Finca that stressed me out.
That’s not to say it was all doomy and gloomy while they were here. I had so much cleaning the house with my parents, cooking for the missionary community with them, picking out a movie for movie night, and my dad and I pulling pranks of my mom with a fake iguana. We spent time in the houses playing with the kids and chatting with the Tias. We also spent three days together at a nearby resort. This time was truly restful for me to get away from the Finca for a few days, just lying on the beach, reading all day, with my parents. We ate great food, played board games, and enjoyed making funny faces at the resort’s two monkeys!
Saying goodbye to them was definitely hard, but I’m so, so glad and grateful they had the opportunity to get to know the Finca and see a little of the life that I felt so called to leave home for.
Semana Santa
Due to all the stress at the Finca and my own emotional turmoil, I felt myself able to walk alongside Jesus in His Passion like never before. We started off with an incredible Palm Sunday procession and Mass that my parents attended! The singing, dancing, and overall joy that the people of Trujillo had as we processed from a parish church to the Cathedral made me truly feel like I was at the gates of Jerusalem, welcoming Jesus into the city. Why should we not be singing, dancing, and jumping for joy as the King of Universe enters our presence?
In addition, Monsignor Jenry(Henry) – the Bishop of the Diocese - led the Mass. This man has ENERGY and JOY for the Mass. My parents don’t speak or understand a word of Spanish, but they LOVED Mass with Monsignor.
The Sors (Fransican religious sisters the live at the Finca) did an incredible job planning and leading services on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. They had the Finca kids act out the Last Supper on Thursday, which included Teddy, as Jesus, washing their feet and then eating unleavened bread and “wine”(juice) together, later praying a Holy Hour, then watching Jesus(Teddy) be bretrayed by Judas(Nate) and arrested. On Friday morning, we did a living Station of the Cross together as a Finca community, walking through Mojoguay(the nearby community) and ending in the Finca, laying Jesus in the tomb. I was asked to play The Virgen Mary for the stations which was so humbling and brought me so close to our Mother’s own pain during the Passion. We ended Lent with joy filled Easter Vigil and Sunday morning masses.
I left Holy Week and started Easter feeling pulled closed to the Loving Heart of Jesus, protected under the Mantel of Mary, and prepared to continue in this mission, knowing hardships do not mean defeat.
Misioneros de Cristo
In the second week of May, we had the joy of hosting missionaries connected to the Missioners of Christ in Comayagua, Honduras. The team of Hondurans(and one gringa!) that came put on a camp in the afternoons for the kids to learn more about the Rosary, Sacraments, and Saints and for them to truly encounter the joy of Jesus through their experiences with the missionaries. I was personally touched by several different things throughout our week with them. For one, it was incredible to see the kids connect with Honduran missionaries. Nate and the professional staff here have been trying for a little bit to start a Honduran missionary program at the Finca. Before this week, I had never been blown away by this idea. But after a week of seeing the kids see young Hondurans who are on fire for their faith and filled with joy, it made me realize this is a role in their lives, a role model, that needs to be filled. Please pray for a successful start to our Honduran and Latin American Missionary Program.
Additionally, the missioners arrived at a time when I was feeling tired and burnt out of the mission. I have felt the strong desire to “put my best foot forward”, so to say, before going home for vacation in two months. But I’ve also struggled with a severe lack of motivation to do even my most basic jobs and to be fully present in the mission here. I lose my patience quickly; I have little desire to be present with the kids or community and have been thinking about home more and more. I was expecting a week of hosting people and only speaking Spanish in the house to be exhausting. At the beginning of the week, three of our kids left the Finca to go back and live with their families. This is incredible and a story we don’t often see here at the Finca. I’m so, so incredibly happy for them and am praising the Lord that they get to have the love of their own mother each and every day. I was also so sad saying goodbye to them; a part of my family was leaving, three kids who I love so much. I miss seeing them every day and being able to talk and play with them. I was so struck when they left at how quickly I felt I had to move on. There didn’t seem to be a moment to process it. As I thought about this, I realized that’s how so many things are here – so fast paced it’s hard to internalize and sit with everything. That being said, I was not in a very joyful spot as we hosted the missionaries.
But seeing the missioners, seeing their joy and patience, seeing their love for Jesus, reminded me of the heart of mission – love. It’s not about being a perfect missionary, being a perfect role model or teacher, nor checking things off a to-do list. It’s about love – loving fully and completely in each moment. And if I’m going to pour out my love to others, I need to fill my love from a true source. Not just from sitting on a beach away from the Finca, not just from watching a movie with my housemates once a week, but from Jesus. I could see how the missioners have and continue to open their hearts to Jesus Resurrected and live in the joy of His Victory. I desire that for myself and for Nate, Teddy, and Rachel; that we can go to the Sacrifice of Jesus, His Eucharist, and have our hearts filled and lives changed with love.
St Therese of Lisieux said, “At last I have found my vocation. My vocation is love.” That never struck me till I came to the Finca. I had spent months trying to find a way to summarize the life of a Finca missionary, trying to find my role in the mission here. And I had yet to find a good answer, a good way to distinctly say what we do. But that’s because our mission is truly and simply to love – the child, the Tia, the Lic, the community member, the worker – everyone. At its root, it doesn’t matter what rules there are, how well I speak Spanish, how much energy I have, I’m called to love in the way that Jesus loves. And He will tell me how to do that; when I come to Him, He will show me and form me in His love.
So, yeah, we are always in a busy time. Some of those times are busier than others. But I still come to Jesus in those times. Those times are still full of love and joy. I think I had really forgotten the joy of mission, but, when I look for it, it is so present here at the Finca. This life is an adventure, and adventures are full of fun! This place is truly a piece of Heaven on earth.
Moments of Joy!
Please continue to pray for me and Nate, Teddy and Rachel. Also please pray for the three siblings who recently left to live with their family. Additionally, for the nine summer volunteers who will be coming in less than a month.
Live joyfully and full of love, friends!
